Thoughts of an imperfect man......doing my best to live for a perfect being.
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Original: 1/23/2009 11:46 PM
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Friday, January 23, 2009

Around and around I go...

 
Currently
Kingdom of Comfort
By Delirious?
see related

So I got a full position with the American Peptide Company recently.  This means I’m not working through a temp agency so I’m actually working for this company.  They want me to keep working there for awhile.  The pay isn’t that great…which slows the debt paying.  The job gets pretty boring at times, which makes me want something else.  The job is neutral as far as my conscious goes; it’s not a huge company that lacks accountability, but it’s also not directly helping those that need the most help.  It is a steady job; I rather doubt that they’d fire me unless they hit really dire straits.  It’s not a bad job and it will help me pay off my debt for now so I should just stick with it…or not…so goes my mind around and around.  I want to be content to stay where I’m at and I think I have gotten  a little of that, but I also want to not get too content…maybe more of my issues are with my lack of an outlet for my desire to be involved in the loves of the poor…well I know that’s part of it, but ideally I would have a job that lets me do that even if it’s only temporary before I head out to help those elsewhere.  So I’m torn between being worried about not being too content and also not content enough…I just want to pay off my debts and get out to Bogota, Colombia to see where God leads from there.  In fact I’ll probably go there before the debts get paid off; I either need an initial trip there to find out what it’s like, or I need that trip for God to lead me elsewhere.  Interestingly enough I was thinking about the fact that some of what originally attracted me to Colombia has been diminishing there in recent years and rising up in Mexico more and more.  These things are mostly based on US policy decisions screwing up the country and the fact that the drug trade is a big part of what has taken up a large part of the power in the country…it’s interesting for me to entertain the possibility that God could send me to Colombia to send me elsewhere and now seeing one way he could do that; if He showed me that Colombia is no longer where He needs me but rather someplace I’ve already been…I still don’t know what will happen but I’m glad that I have more possibilities in my mind that I’d be alright with so that I can have more confidence that I need to follow God’s plan for me instead of what I think it is; the more good possibilities I have open the more unsure I’ll be what is His plan unless He shows it to me.

 Posted 1/23/2009 11:46 PM - 8 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment

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Visit gelatinemonkey's Xanga Site!
Well at least I know I can relate to you, and you to me. =P I can tell because normally I don't think you type in giant block posts of rambling, but this time you have and it reminds me of how I normally write in "stream of conscious thought". =P

May God lead you and make clear His paths for you -- at least just enough to let you know you're not way off the mark. ^_^

God bless,
~Scott
Posted 1/24/2009 1:01 AM by gelatinemonkey Xanga True Member - reply


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